15 Sex Tips from the Bedrooms of Real Women

If you want to know what real women think and dream about in the bedroom, we got the scoop for you right here.

You don’t need a special occasion to be the reason you go all-out in the bedroom. It may seem more romantic, but odds are one of you will be too drunk after weddings and holiday parties to have a good quality romp. Make sex exciting all the time by breaking out of the cookie-cutter positions and listening to your girl. Do you know what she really wants between the sheets? She’s definitely fantasized about it before, you just need to tease it out of her.

Get In The (Erogenous) Zone

“Never underestimate the power of a few well-placed kisses. It drives me crazy when my boyfriend starts kissing the nape of my neck and gently nibbling on my ear lobe – I get tingles all the way down to clitoris. After a few minutes I’m literally begging him to just put it in.”
—Tess, 27

Talk Dirty

“You don’t have to save all the naughty stuff for the bedroom. If you’re out at a fancy dinner, tell your girl how badly you want her across the table. If you’re at a bar, put your hand on her ass and tell her the things you’ll do to her when you get home. Telling women how desirable they are will give them the confidence to act out all your dirty fantasies later.”
—Marianna, 31

Be A Boob Man

“It drives me insane when my boyfriend takes the time to pay attention to my boobs. I don’t just mean grabbing, I mean kissing and licking until my nipples are hard and then giving them little bites. By that time I’m usually so wet that just a little fingering will make me cum—and the times he’s bitten down while his hand is down there I’ve had the most mind-blowing orgasms ever.”
—Laine, 27

Touch Yourself

“I know it may sound strange, but watching my boyfriend get himself off is such a turn on. I’ll start by lying down naked next him, my body against his, and play with his member until he gets hard. Then I put his hand down there and just rub my body against him and watch. I think it makes me so hot ’cause it’s kind of taboo, something he would do in private, but I also like actually seeing how much I turn him on.”
—Leslie, 25

Let Her Take Charge

When my fiancé and I are doing it missionary I usually feel as if I’m on the brink of coming and it makes me go totally wild. I’ll push him back so I can get on top, place my arms on his to hold them down, and just ride him hard until I cum—and keeping eye contact the whole time makes it extra intense. So my note to guys is, there’s nothing wrong with lying back and just enjoying the view.”
—Brooke, 24

Get Wet

“Everyone talks about shower sex, but on nights when it’s cold out or on a lazy Sunday draw a bath and get in together. Since you’re both in the water you don’t have to worry about the water flying in your face or one of you getting cold. Adding bubbles is a nice touch, too. Since some of your body is hidden, it helps with loosening inhibitions.”
—Julie, 29

Women Like Porn, Too

“It doesn’t happen often, but every now and then when my husband and I are feeling especially frisky we’ll put some porn on. We’ll take turn getting on our knees and going down on each other while the other sits on the couch and the finish by going at it doggy style.”
—Nikola, 30

Doggy Style 2.0

“My favorite sex position is when I lie down on the bed and a guy takes me from behind. Keeping a steady rhythm and grabbing my ass real tight will usually end with us coming at the same time and pretty quickly—it’s that good.”
—Frieda, 23

Find The Spot

More Women In Porn Making Waves Behind The Camera

While Hugh Hefner’s daughter Christie (seen at left) may be one of the more famous women in porn who’s never actually been in porn, there are actually plenty of women cashing in on the industry. MSNBC’s Brian Alexander talked to more than a few of them about what it’s like to make your money in an industry that many people consider less-than-mainstream — and far from than feminist.

While for some women like Jenna Jameson, Candida Royalle, Nina Hartley or Danni Ashe the way up the executive ladder started in front of the camera, many other women went into the business like any other executive — through the front door and way behind the camera. Samantha Lewis, who co-owns Digital Playground, started out in real estate and invested in a profitable business; Joy King, vice president of special projects at Wicked Pictures, started out working in film distribution for children’s movies; and Susan Colvin, who owns California Exotic Novelties, planned to go into public administration. Diane Duke, the executive director of the Free Speech Coalition, which advocates for adult companies’ rights, was an executive at Planned Parenthood. They might not like porn — many of them don’t even watch it — but they think it should exist and that it can be made better for the women in front of the camera.

One of the problems in the porn industry that everyone identifies — and that some female executives are trying to fight — is the problem of using inexperienced and ill-prepared actresses.

[The Adult Industry Medical Health Care Foundation’s Sharon] Mitchell, herself a former actress, told the authors said that agents “are now recruiting people from, literally, the middle of the country [who] are 18 years old who haven’t remotely had any type of sex, let alone the type of sex they’re probably going to have tomorrow.” Too often, she said, “agents run them into the ground” signing them to make too many sex scenes, and that can lead to STDs.Female directors, producers and owners know all this and say they work to fight it, partly by turning away young women they think are ill prepared. A few have suggested that producers should hire women who are at least 21, rather than 18.

The women in the business are less inclined to see women mistreated, partly because they are women and partly, as performer Lorelai Lee pointed out to Violet Blue earlier this year, it’s simply not sexy to watch someone doing something they don’t like.

What none of the women — in front of or behind the camera — like is being stereotyped as anti-woman, or anti-feminist. They point out that while some women are being taken advantage of, others are freely choosing to show their bodies and perform sex acts for money and the pleasure of others. They tend to think it’s pretty narrow-minded (and un-feminist) of scholars to assume that the women who perform sex acts on camera could only do so because they are fucked-up women who have somehow been coerced.

University of California Santa Barbara film studies professor Constance Penley, who studies the adult industry, agreed. Name an industry that’s different, she said. Because porn involves sex it is subject to what Penley calls “exceptionalism.” It is not judged in the bigger cultural context. But it should be. “You have to ask: Does it have more drug abuse or more suicides, more incidents of girls being sexually abused as children, more cosmetic surgery than Hollywood, TV, the recording industry?” she said. The answer, she pointed out, is probably not. So why pick on sex movies?

Feminists talk a lot about owning our bodies and making our own sexual choices, but when it comes to women who choose to work in the sex industry, we tend to get a lot more narrow-minded about it. Just ask Joy King, the Wicked Pictures exec — when she was featured talking about her company on the local news, her son’s best friend’s mother refused to let him come over to play anymore because King was one of “those” women.

Court Affirms Prostitute’s Right to Rent a Room

An Australian court in Canberra has ruled that a prostitute was illegally discriminated against when a motel owner refused to rent her a room, and the decision is forcing hotels to reconsider some of their written and unwritten rules about barring sex workers from renting rooms. After the management at a motel in the town of Moranbah wouldn’t rent her a room, the women took her discrimination case to the Queensland state Civil and Administrative Tribunal, which then upheld the claim.

According to David Edwards, the motel’s lawyer, the woman will now seek damages to the tune of $32,000. This case, notes Accommodation Association of Australia chief executive Richard Munro, should also force the Queensland and Australian governments to revise some of their laws about who has the authority to bar whom from a hotel or motel, considering there are probably far weirder things than people having sex for money happening behind the closed doors of motels all throughout the Outback.

Australian court says motel can’t ban prostitute

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